The 10 plagues of NYC living
If you're celebrating Passover this weekend, you'll be retelling the story of the 10 plagues that God unleashed on the Egyptians to punish them for their maltreatment of the Jews. Unfortunately, the Egyptians aren't the only ones to contend with things like vermin. Here in NYC, we have our very own plagues:
1. Egypt: Water turning into blood.
New York City: Though our water doesn't turn to blood (usually), it can turn from hot to cold in seconds — and in the middle of your shower.
2. Egypt: Frogs.
New York City: We may not have frogs jumping around, but we do have pigeons. Everywhere. And occasionally mice and rats. And the Brooklyn monster (a distant relative perhaps of the Montauk monster).
3. Egypt: Lice.
New York City: Check. As any parent of an elementary school child can attest, lice are still very much a thing.
4. Egypt: Flies.
New York City: Double check. Mosquitos (in summer), fruit flies (in summer) and roaches all year long.
5. Egypt: Diseased livestock.
New York City: We may not have much livestock roaming the avenues here, but earlier this year, a cow was spotted running through the streets of Queens, escaping a slaughterhouse. And that was just after a goat did the same thing. Run free, guys!
6. Egypt: Boils
New York City: Boiling apartments—from that ancient radiator you just can't seem to turn down. And that nonstop heat might have a similar affect on your skin.
7. Egypt: Hail
New York City: Our winters, or more specifically, the term "wintry mix."
8. Egypt: Locusts
New York City: Bed bugs, of course.
9. Egypt: Darkness.
New York City: Lack of overhead lighting in rentals. Or power outages. We have both.
10. Egypt: Death of the the firstborn.
New York City: While we're lucky not to experience anything this grisly here, you may very well have to sell your firstborn to afford the rent.
***This story first posted on April 3, 2015. It was updated on April 21, 2016.
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